


Flowers

by babyperidot



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: But mostly angst, F/M, Flowers, Fluff and Angst, One Shot, Parent Death, Post-Canon, Single Parents, Sorry it's short, dear evan hansen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 13:26:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14978108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyperidot/pseuds/babyperidot
Summary: -Zoe draws on Evan's cast when she's bored. When he got his cast off, Zoe decided to draw on his skin, but got distracted by the cuts on his arm.-This takes place after Zoe dies in childbirth, and Evan is left to pick up the broken pieces with his daughter, Violet.Written by my friend +Charles Alexander.





	Flowers

“Daddy!”

Dark. 

Everything is dark.

There is a heavy weight on his chest, like a string, tugging and pulling.

It won’t go away.

“Daddy, wake up!”

Evan lurches up from the couch, breathing heavily, Violet sitting crossed-legged and patient on the floor next to him.

He ruffles his daughter’s hair, and rubs his eyes.

“Daddy, tell me about your flowers? Mommy said they’re magical.” Violet taps on the cushions eagerly, leaning over to stare her father in the face with matching blue eyes. They sparked with curiosity. 

Aside from being his daughter, the closest thing to him in the last seven years, something was vaguely familiar about them. 

He felt the string again, tugging as his chest and brain. He didn’t want to remember, he wouldn’t let himself, but something about seeing that shade of blue beckoned to be rediscovered. 

He knew he still had the memories.

And deep down, he know he wanted to see all of them.

“...Dad?” Violet tilts her head, weightless brown hair falling across her eyes, shutting them away.

The distant pain is gone. For now. He knows it will come back, but he needs to be there for his daughter.

“Do they really have healing powers?” She asks, strapping and unstrapping her velcro ruby-shoes. 

Evan pulls his legs up in fromt of him, mirroring Violet. “Well...”

He can’t lie to her. Not now. This was going to be an important conversation, but he wasn’t ready.

“Uhm. When I was in school,”

“Like me?” Violet interrupts, giggling a little. 

Evan laughs, giving off a small smile- the first one of the day, which says a lot. 

“Not really, It wasn’t too long ago- maybe...15 years? That seems like a lot, but it was an important time for me.” He sucks in a deep breath, knowing now isn’t the time to break. 

“I had known who your mother was for a couple years I believe, but we hadn’t really met eachother. And, this rumor, this lie came about, I guess, and it got, well- it got out of control to say the least. And-” he sniffs a little, but his daughters eyes glow electric blue, like the sky, it kind of reminds him of-

“And people were hurt.”

“Hurt?” Asks Violet, scooting toward him. “Did they need a bandaid?”

Evan manages to chuckle at this. “Sure. Sure they did; friends and family. And when it was all over, it was really hard to move on. I was hurting.”

He can tell by the look on her face that she doesn’t understand.

“And I...” He inhales sharply again, but exhales as slowly as he can. Maybe he can follow through with it this time. But he can hear his voice catching.

“I...hurt myself...on purpose.” He places his head in his palms, knowing he’s too old to cry. But maybe this can ease some of the wounds for the time being.

“Ouch.” Violet says. Evan is about to explain, but she clambers up on his lap and hugs him, wrapping her little arms tightly, until he speaks again.

“Yeah...ouch. Then, your mother came along. She helped me with it... a lot actually.” He smiles at the memory, not staring at anything in particular. “She’d uh, draw these flowers,” he paints an imaginary wall, presumably painting of floral life that had once been. “On my arms. It was comforting. I don’t think I’d be here without her.” He kisses Violet on the forehead. 

“Later, she suggested I get some flowers, some violets to cover up where I was hurting. He overturns his left arm, displaying several intertwined flowers, shades of purple and blue. “They’ll be there forever.”

“That’s my name!” Violet laughs, rocking backwards and almost falling over.

He runs a hand through his hair. “Zoe did so much for me.”

“Are...” Violet wipes her nose, a little unsanitary, but Evan knows it can’t be from illness. “Are you still hurting?”

“Oh. Well, I guess so, yeah. All the time. But it isn’t as bad now, I’m sure of it. A lot of the problems I had back then are gone. “ He skims his thumb over the flowers on his forearm.

“Those look like a bunch’a tiny holes in your arm!” Violet points out, obliviously. 

“Well...holes are always dug before we are able to plant the flowers.”

He finally looks down at his daughter, smiling all the way. 

She is beautiful, a perfect vision of his wife.

Those eyes. So crystal clear. If only Zoe could see them now. 

“Daddy!” Violet shouts, as if he’s a mile away.

“What, sweetheart?”

“Do you have any blue or purple clothers to match your flowers?”

Evan grins. Violet is going to be great someday. “I don’t know about purple, but maybe blue.”

Within a few minutes, he’s searched his closet, which he hasn’t emptied in years, probably.

He found it.

The only blue article of clothing he owns. For a moment he wondered why he didn’t have any others, until it hits him like a truck. 

It sits on the edge of his bed, crushing everything around it to pieces in it’s awakening.

At first, he couldn’t remember anything. It all comes rushing back now, flooding his brain like tidal waves.

Blue is a calm color, a color of many peaceful things that may ease someone’s mind.

But, this- this is something else. 

He sees several loose threads at the frayed hems of the bottom of the shirt, he knows why they are there. 

He feels the string return.


End file.
